VRS News Corp.

Results have been announced, and as reported earlier, M.M. & Co has been rated marginally higher at 9.5 compared to Aby & Co at 9.4. The credit for first reports in public domain on emergence of the new market leader goes to APJ Inc.’s infamous news agency “Udti Udti khabar” regarded as a tabloid by many in Hell. However, now with Hell’s most famous, most credible and the only international news agency taking active interest in reporting the matter and expressing its views on the future prospects of the two players, the matter has assumed great importance.

VRS News Corp., unlike APJ Inc.’s infamous tabloid “Udti Udti Khabar”, is the most reliable and respectable news agency of Hell. It is also believed that any matter in Hell gains supreme importance and tremendous attention only when VRS decides to report it. This is exactly what happened with the ‘Globe Rating Results’ for the previous quarter where M.M. displaced Aby at the top spot.

Varun Reddy, CEO, VRS News Corp. also expressed his views on the future of the two companies:

“I am sure that this is just an aberration and that Aby and co. will come back again the next quarter. MM and Co. is relatively new and is not so high on the sames of CG as compared to the TG. This relative difference will certainly secure the position of Aby and Co. as the overall market leader. The markets are down now a days and the MM effect will fade away...”

It is widely believed that this year VRS News Corp has achieved new heights in news reporting with its extensive and comprehensive coverage of the US Presidential elections. VRS has used all mediums possible viz. Orkut, Gtalk status etc to provide hourly updates on the moves of all parties involved in the Obama vs McCain showdown. Also, Varun Reddy, CEO of VRS News Corp is believed to be in close touch with Sarah Palin as suggested by an album titled “Sarah Palin - Some pics from the life of this enigmatic and charming woman...” among the private photos of the CEO. (http://www.orkut.com/Main#Album.aspx?uid=6605411674781593330&aid=1223635421)

With the amazing coverage of the recent Presidential elections, VRS News Corp has moved way ahead in the competition among news agencies including BBC (Blondie Broadcasting Corporation), Radio 3.4 – channel hell (Radio news by 3.4) and Udti Udti Khabar (APJ Inc.’s tabloid). Melkor Inc. along with his co-sponsors collectively called Team Synapse will now have to look for a radical change, a renaissance in their news reporting methods or bring in high quality content to increase the TRP of Blondie Broadcasting Corporation.

DISCLAIMER:

Mention of ‘Team Synapse’ in the above article has been made at the kind request of Mr. Vineet Bobade, MD, Booby & Bobby Consultants, one of the member concerns of the team.

The Globe market:

Besides PJs, another product that APJ Inc. is forced to produce due to its presence in hel(L) is ‘Globe’. Globe is a niche product using ‘common sense’ as its primary input and packaged with attractive management jargons. The product life cycle for globe involves a 5 week production phase followed by a one week sales phase. The site of globe production in hel(L) is called PGP block. The total duration required for globe production per course per term is 30 hours. The two most popular markets for sale of globe are mid terms and end terms.

Globe in these markets is traded in a currency called ‘Marks’. The rising exchange rates have led to most players selling their products at very low prices. While some buyers have been generous enough to offer fair prices, most have undervalued the products. Further, post purchase these products are rated by a number of different ‘Globe Rating Agencies’ like Chitta bhi pitta hai & Co., Bulldog & Co., Matman & Co, Prima Facie & Co., Core-mo-core & Co. etc. The measure of globe rating is called CGPA – a rating on a scale of 10 indicating the effectiveness of the globe.

APJ Inc is continuously facing problems with the consistently falling globe ratings. In the first quarter of the previous financial year, APJ Inc posted an overall globe rating of 6.33 which fell to 5 pointers in the subsequent quarters finishing the year at just over 5.5. The market leader in terms of Globe rating has been Aby & Co scoring over 9 pointers in each quarter of the first year. However, with the results of first quarter of 2^nd year expected soon, the market might possibly witness emergence of a new market leader. News have been doing the rounds of M.M. & Co. posting high sales across territories and possibly replacing Aby & Co. at the top spot. According to sources Aby & Co. is likely to lose out on the top spot only due to unfair pricing of its products in a territory called MFS. It is also speculated that Aby & Co. is likely to be rated B+ for the first time in its history by Bulldog & Co. More information about the ratings will only be available after the announcement of the results.